Now I understand.

I've always wondered how just one shoe of a pair ends up alongside the road. Now I understand. You see, it happened to us. :) We had a campaign dinner for church at the Holiday Inn Saturday night, with childcare provided at a pediatrician's office nearby. (The husband of the lady who headed up the event is the head of a pediatric group.) We got to the place to drop off Katrina when I noticed only one of her shoes was in the car. Ryan had set the other one on top of the car while buckling Katrina in ... and drove away. :) So Saturday night (in 30 degree weather, while the baby slept in her crib) we walked up and down our road looking for her shoe. We found it! It was on the opposite side of the road, slightly smashed, but still wearable. We spent forty minutes looking for a $9 shoe. (Actually, it was a $4.50 shoe. The pair was $9.)

God's been working on me and my attitude lately. Friday I was surprised to get an e-mail response from a coworker-friend that was a little strained. I talked with my manager, and he spoke some truth that I was totally oblivious to ... I've been coming across as rude and rather insensitive to two people in a specific department lately. :( I've been pushing a proofreading issue to them and they finally had enough, I guess. The more I thought about it and talked through it (and prayed!), I realized I've been pushing the wrong issue. I thought I was being unappreciated and ignored because of what was happening, and so I kept bringing up a certain problem. The ladies of the department did appreciate the proofreading I was providing to them, but not the way I was presenting it. I e-mailed them both on Friday to apologize and said that I'd like to talk to them more and hopefully find some ways to communicate better.

Carol (another coworker) has said all along that it's not what you commuincate, it's HOW you communicate, and she is so right. (I call her our wise office sage.) And I was SO surrounded by it all weekend, too. Sunday Pastor Paul preached about speaking the truth in love. He said all truth is harsh and hurtful, while all love is gushy and not necessarily helpful. It's important to find the right balance of truth and love. Then Sunday during Sunday School a lady apologized for pushing an issue where she thought she was right and that her way had to be the only way; she said she realized later she was wrong for forcing her way. Then Sunday night (I told you I was surrounded!) we were talking in small group about love and respect and one of the people in the group reminded us of a quote from early in the book we read. The quote was from the author's wife, and she said something to her husband like, "You may be right, but at the top of your voice, you are wrong." She was saying that it's HOW he was communicating that was hurting her, not what he was saying. That's where I was wrong, and I was totally blind to it, too. I was upset and frustrated that I was being ignored and unappreciated (as I perceived it), which was not true.

I know I have a long way to go in terms of interpersonal relationships. I'm so thankful for the friends who love me unconditionally! And honestly, I'm glad for the friends/coworkers/fellow church people who grate my nerves some times and I'm glad for the people whose nerves I grate and they tell me. I'm not perfect, that's for sure, and we all need shaping and molding in personality and communication.

And just for clarification, I AM NOT PREGNANT. :) Yes, I did post below that we are thinking about adding a sibling for Katrina, but not necessarily this very moment. I'll let you know when we're pregnant. We're not now. (It was so embarrassing! On Friday when I went to my boss for advice, I jokingly started the conversation with, "I'm not pregnant." And he said, "Ahh. I was going to ask. I heard a rumor." WHAT?!?! He may have been teasing, but still. I was so embarrassed!)

I better post this before Blogger decides to short curcuit and lose everything I've written. I leave you with this: fall family pictures. If you live in the Frederick area, give Sarah Spielvogel a call. She's great! (Leah, even though you don't quite live in Frederick, I bet she would head down your way. Think of the fun pictures she could take of your boys!)